Monday, December 17, 2007
A little bit of justice in San Diego
The felony charge, against Juan, of assaulting a federal officer was dropped, thankfully, and Juan will not be deported. To all my wonderful friends who took and interest in something I cared about, thank you. I thought you might be interested in hearing a little more about the story so here is a link to a blog about Juan's ordeal freejuanruiz.blogspot.com. From this site there is also a link to some pictures of Juan volunteering in New Orleans after Katrina. This is a really great young man... He makes me feel just a little less cynical and a little more hopeful and that is a wonderful thing!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Please Sign the Petition
I'd like to ask a favor, please sign the petition against the charges brought on Juan Ruiz. Juan was at a recent San Diego protest and bumped into a border patrol agent, he was then thrown to the ground, jumped on by several border patrol agents, and then charged with felony assault of a federal officer! Juan is a permanent legal resident of the US, but now faces deportation to Colombia! Juan does not deserve to be deported. He is an intelligent young man (21-years-old) who was exercising his right to free speech and assembly! He does not have any immediate friends or family in Colombia, and if he is deported is will be a complete travesty of justice. I have met Juan and I can attest to the fact that he is a thoughtful, idealist, sincere person and poses no threat to the United States. Anyone who cares about this country would actually want people like Juan in it. Here is a link to a site where you can read more, and sign the petition. Site and Petition. Thanks.
Dissent in San Diego, Thankfully
I'm trying to be a good San Diego cheerleader, but it seems like since I've taken that position the planets have aligned to challenge me. First of all I'm perpetually meeting UCSD students (mostly graduate students) who say they dislike San Diego, but then if you ask them anything about San Diego, anything about any of the local communities, they don't know what your talking about. South Park? What is South Park? I just don't want to hear people complain about San Diego when they never leave La Jolla. Come on. It's really a drag because if those people would get engaged in the community they could have a really positive impact.
Then I've been disappointed lately by the local NPR KPBS station 'news' broadcasts. It just seems they've been so middle of the road, and in some cases really uninsightful. It seems they've changed their format lately and are now doing more short sound bites where they say things like 'The War in Iraq Continues', and I think 'Wow, how profound !'. That is news these days? It's hard for me to criticize them, because I've listened for so many years and been a huge supporter, but something has changed for the worse. As a side-note, I was recently being considered for a 'Citizen Journalist' position with them, but I think I asked too many questions about their motivations in the interview, and I did not get the job. Something about the whole thing really turned me off. I think it is partially the idea that the media can not represent a variety of diverse and apposing positions all by themselves, they have to hire 'citizens' to give their 'opinions' hence making KPBS less responsible and less culpable for 'news', that could, I suspect, anger their 'moderate' and 'conservative' contributors. I feel like this is representative of something that is happening in a lot of American institutions...passing the buck, so to speak.
The recent San Diego CityBeat article about the crack down on free speech at UCSD illustrates my point. Here is a link to the article Putting dissent in its Place. I was surprised to discover that Scott Boehm, who I talk with on a some what regular basis was mentioned in this article, as one of the TAs who was fired. I was amazed by that because a day earlier I randomly met Jaun Ruiz, one of the protesters from the NoBordersCamp event who was arrested and now faces deportation. Here is a link to the NoBordersCamp site which features a picture of Juan and info about the charges against him, NoBordersCamp.org.Juan is this amazing, smart and pleasant 21-year-old guy who might be sent back to Colombia, where he has no immediate family or friends, because he bumped into a border patrol agent, and was subsequently thrown to the ground and jumped on by about six of them. Meeting Juan and knowing Scott, personalized this issue for me in a way I was not expecting, but I'm glad it did.
There are challenges in this town, more then I've mentioned here, but they're representative of challenges in the world, so I think we might as well face it and figure out how to deal with it. We could all move to places that are more comfortable, more in line with our ideology, but that is living in denial. Let's not do that, let's call it like we see it and claim the place we are in. That is called living responsibly.
Then I've been disappointed lately by the local NPR KPBS station 'news' broadcasts. It just seems they've been so middle of the road, and in some cases really uninsightful. It seems they've changed their format lately and are now doing more short sound bites where they say things like 'The War in Iraq Continues', and I think 'Wow, how profound !'. That is news these days? It's hard for me to criticize them, because I've listened for so many years and been a huge supporter, but something has changed for the worse. As a side-note, I was recently being considered for a 'Citizen Journalist' position with them, but I think I asked too many questions about their motivations in the interview, and I did not get the job. Something about the whole thing really turned me off. I think it is partially the idea that the media can not represent a variety of diverse and apposing positions all by themselves, they have to hire 'citizens' to give their 'opinions' hence making KPBS less responsible and less culpable for 'news', that could, I suspect, anger their 'moderate' and 'conservative' contributors. I feel like this is representative of something that is happening in a lot of American institutions...passing the buck, so to speak.
The recent San Diego CityBeat article about the crack down on free speech at UCSD illustrates my point. Here is a link to the article Putting dissent in its Place. I was surprised to discover that Scott Boehm, who I talk with on a some what regular basis was mentioned in this article, as one of the TAs who was fired. I was amazed by that because a day earlier I randomly met Jaun Ruiz, one of the protesters from the NoBordersCamp event who was arrested and now faces deportation. Here is a link to the NoBordersCamp site which features a picture of Juan and info about the charges against him, NoBordersCamp.org.Juan is this amazing, smart and pleasant 21-year-old guy who might be sent back to Colombia, where he has no immediate family or friends, because he bumped into a border patrol agent, and was subsequently thrown to the ground and jumped on by about six of them. Meeting Juan and knowing Scott, personalized this issue for me in a way I was not expecting, but I'm glad it did.
There are challenges in this town, more then I've mentioned here, but they're representative of challenges in the world, so I think we might as well face it and figure out how to deal with it. We could all move to places that are more comfortable, more in line with our ideology, but that is living in denial. Let's not do that, let's call it like we see it and claim the place we are in. That is called living responsibly.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving and Not
This Thanksgiving I've been meditating on the idea that we really need to be thankful everyday for what we have, and at the same time we need to avoid becoming complacent about things that could be better both in this country and elsewhere. So here are my lists:
A few things I'm thankful for:
1) Friends that cook me breakfast and call me back!
2) My family. My mom. My job. My coworkers.
3) My health, and my friends' and family's health.
4) All good, ethical, kind, generous, thoughtful people in the world.
5) People bent on making things better, or at least trying.
A few things I'm pissed about:
1) The f'd-up health care system.
2) The f'd-up government, and super f'd up war.
3) Hateful, racist, sexist, classist, imperialist, ignorant attitudes.
4) Poverty, suffering, alienation, loneliness.
A few things I'm thankful for:
1) Friends that cook me breakfast and call me back!
2) My family. My mom. My job. My coworkers.
3) My health, and my friends' and family's health.
4) All good, ethical, kind, generous, thoughtful people in the world.
5) People bent on making things better, or at least trying.
A few things I'm pissed about:
1) The f'd-up health care system.
2) The f'd-up government, and super f'd up war.
3) Hateful, racist, sexist, classist, imperialist, ignorant attitudes.
4) Poverty, suffering, alienation, loneliness.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Protests in San Diego
Last week when most San Diego residents where doing their commutes to and fro on the sprawling San Diego freeway system there was a group of protesters silently amassing at the border near Mexicali and Calexico. The objective was to create a 'no borders camp'... unfortunately things turned ugly, and many of the protesters were beaten and pepper-sprayed. Here is a link to noborderscamp.org and sandiego.indymedia.org to learn more.
The incident just shows how it is going to become increasingly difficult for San Diego residents to ignore the reality of the border... though there was virtually no press for this protest which involved several hundred people! I got the impression the press was intentionally left out of the loop precisely because–they are the press, and the organizers felt their interests at the border would just be reduced to sound bites by the media. They probably would have! Frightening, no?
The incident just shows how it is going to become increasingly difficult for San Diego residents to ignore the reality of the border... though there was virtually no press for this protest which involved several hundred people! I got the impression the press was intentionally left out of the loop precisely because–they are the press, and the organizers felt their interests at the border would just be reduced to sound bites by the media. They probably would have! Frightening, no?
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Aural Pleasure in SD
I've had a week of aural pleasure starting with poetry at the Whistle Stop in a show organized by a local writer named Ryan Griffith. (His writing "Oblivion" was recently published in CityBeat's short story competition.) 'Poetry at a bar?' you may be wondering. Well, I was a little skeptical at first too, but Ryan made it work. He chose two great poets who kept the audience moved and entertained. The first poet was Erene Rallis. Erene read from her book called "Inner Ecos", and this modest woman probably in her late 60's, rocked the house! Her writing was incredibly powerful, and left me awestruck! Then Rob Williams changed the pace a bit and read a short prose piece accompanied by a slide show. Rob was hilarious. The bar was completely quiet except for the murmuring sounds of smokers on the patio. I was impressed with the whole event which was probably a little under an hour long. Short and sweet. There are more readings coming-up, so if you are interested in chilling with thinking-literate-poetic people you know where to go.
Then, last night I went to see Carl Hancock Rux at SUSHI. Carl has the most amazing voice. He read several poems, often singing the lines acappella, and then read from his book. I have not had an experience like that in my six years in San Diego. I left the performance space feeling somehow psychically renewed. Then I was lucky enough to accompany Carl and his friend, Lynn Schuette the director of Sushi, and Adrian Arancibia of The Taco Shop poets, to a late dinner. We chatted and laughed for hours after the reading. As we were leaving, two women stopped Carl and told him he had a great voice and that he should be on the radio. I don't know if he told them that he had in fact been on the radio earlier that day or not. If only they knew! Here is a link to Carl on the radio if you want to hear his mystical voice. NPR podcast.
Then, last night I went to see Carl Hancock Rux at SUSHI. Carl has the most amazing voice. He read several poems, often singing the lines acappella, and then read from his book. I have not had an experience like that in my six years in San Diego. I left the performance space feeling somehow psychically renewed. Then I was lucky enough to accompany Carl and his friend, Lynn Schuette the director of Sushi, and Adrian Arancibia of The Taco Shop poets, to a late dinner. We chatted and laughed for hours after the reading. As we were leaving, two women stopped Carl and told him he had a great voice and that he should be on the radio. I don't know if he told them that he had in fact been on the radio earlier that day or not. If only they knew! Here is a link to Carl on the radio if you want to hear his mystical voice. NPR podcast.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Word On The Street
After spending the weekend hanging out with some of San Diego's most amazing people I am more convinced than ever that something exciting is happening in our fair city. People are beginning to realize how much potential San Diego has...
It seems San Diego has long suffered from an identity crisis. It's not Los Angeles. It's not Seattle. It's not San Francisco. It's not Portland. It's not Austin. It's not Boulder. It's not New York City. So what is it?
San Diego is San Diego: A multicultural city with diverse political ideologies; A city facing some serious socioeconomic issues; A city on the front line of the immigration debate; A beautiful city, where people love to be outside, challenged with environmental issues from the ocean to the desert... These are the things that make this city so interesting a place to be right now.
San Diego needs therapy to help it see itself for what it is: a nexus.
I spent time this weekend with the head of an environmental non-profit organization, a molecular biologist, a violinist, a couple who built their own home and is highly engaged in their community, a guy visiting from Guadalajara, a number of smart and super-modelish women and men, an African American poet, a lawyer, a small business owner, I could go on and on... The point is that there are really interesting people here, doing very interesting progressive things, but you have to be out in the community to meet them.
San Diegans need a paradigm shift in their thinking about San Diego. I vote for a little more self-love. Let's embrace our challenges as our strengths in order to form our identity , like Austin embraces Texas, like Seattle embraces Starbucks, like Los Angeles embraces traffic... You get the idea.
Let's say no to self-hate, frankly I'm way over it. Dissing San Diego is LAME. Being engaged in San Diego community is COOL. So, if you need a fun way to start being engaged in San Diego, you can go check out two COOL new local San Diego bands that I just discovered: The Red Feathers, and Vision of a Dying World...baby steps.
It seems San Diego has long suffered from an identity crisis. It's not Los Angeles. It's not Seattle. It's not San Francisco. It's not Portland. It's not Austin. It's not Boulder. It's not New York City. So what is it?
San Diego is San Diego: A multicultural city with diverse political ideologies; A city facing some serious socioeconomic issues; A city on the front line of the immigration debate; A beautiful city, where people love to be outside, challenged with environmental issues from the ocean to the desert... These are the things that make this city so interesting a place to be right now.
San Diego needs therapy to help it see itself for what it is: a nexus.
I spent time this weekend with the head of an environmental non-profit organization, a molecular biologist, a violinist, a couple who built their own home and is highly engaged in their community, a guy visiting from Guadalajara, a number of smart and super-modelish women and men, an African American poet, a lawyer, a small business owner, I could go on and on... The point is that there are really interesting people here, doing very interesting progressive things, but you have to be out in the community to meet them.
San Diegans need a paradigm shift in their thinking about San Diego. I vote for a little more self-love. Let's embrace our challenges as our strengths in order to form our identity , like Austin embraces Texas, like Seattle embraces Starbucks, like Los Angeles embraces traffic... You get the idea.
Let's say no to self-hate, frankly I'm way over it. Dissing San Diego is LAME. Being engaged in San Diego community is COOL. So, if you need a fun way to start being engaged in San Diego, you can go check out two COOL new local San Diego bands that I just discovered: The Red Feathers, and Vision of a Dying World...baby steps.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Devil Winds of San Diego, Santa Ana
"When the hills of Los Angeles are burning/ Palm trees are candles in the murder winds/ So many lives are on the breeze/ Even the stars are ill at ease/ And Los Angeles is burning."-Bad Religion
"...California, where the sun is warm, where the winds called Santa Ana make you feel like you belong..." -Debbie Boone
After a week of captivity from the raging fires I was happy to return to work. It was interesting to talk to my friends and colleagues about their fire experiences. Many people expressed to me how they had developed a general sense of unease, loneliness, guilt, and claustrophobia. Indeed we were all thrown for a loop and out of our element with this fire, and with these winds. Although I was never personally in any danger from the fires I think I am still psychically recovering from the crisis perpetuated by the unrelenting wind know as the Santa Ana.
Not being from California the Santa Ana winds are rather new to me, but they have a long mythologized history. I found the quotes above on Wikipedia. I thought it was interesting that the Santa Ana winds were described as both "murder winds" and winds that "make you feel like you belong." After experiencing this fire crisis I can say that the winds that fueled the fires also revealed some beautiful and unmentioned San Diego secrets, for instance, that there is community deeply rooted in this place, and it is made of all colors, nationalities, and all socio-economic backgrounds; and people in this community care for each other. In this sense the warm winds have made me feel like I belong---have rooted me more completely to this place---however the method is mad. The winds and fires have caused so much destruction and made us all feel so sad.
Let us hope for a quick recovery.
"...California, where the sun is warm, where the winds called Santa Ana make you feel like you belong..." -Debbie Boone
After a week of captivity from the raging fires I was happy to return to work. It was interesting to talk to my friends and colleagues about their fire experiences. Many people expressed to me how they had developed a general sense of unease, loneliness, guilt, and claustrophobia. Indeed we were all thrown for a loop and out of our element with this fire, and with these winds. Although I was never personally in any danger from the fires I think I am still psychically recovering from the crisis perpetuated by the unrelenting wind know as the Santa Ana.
Not being from California the Santa Ana winds are rather new to me, but they have a long mythologized history. I found the quotes above on Wikipedia. I thought it was interesting that the Santa Ana winds were described as both "murder winds" and winds that "make you feel like you belong." After experiencing this fire crisis I can say that the winds that fueled the fires also revealed some beautiful and unmentioned San Diego secrets, for instance, that there is community deeply rooted in this place, and it is made of all colors, nationalities, and all socio-economic backgrounds; and people in this community care for each other. In this sense the warm winds have made me feel like I belong---have rooted me more completely to this place---however the method is mad. The winds and fires have caused so much destruction and made us all feel so sad.
Let us hope for a quick recovery.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
San Diego is Burning
I'm so sorry for everyone in San Diego that has lost their home.
I've been listening to KPBS 89.5FM... At least I was listening to 89.5FM until this morning when I woke up and learned their transmitter was destroyed in the fire and they were off the air. Fortunately in some kind of amazing gesture of goodwill 94.9FM (usually a rock station) let KPBS take over their airwaves! Bravo! Bravo! I liked both stations before, but I like them even more now, though the commercial interruptions are making for some strange moments.
There have been some funny moments too... My favorites so far are Mayor Jerry Sanders while giving a speech listing all the corporate donors says, "...and my personal favorite, Krispy Kream... What can I say, I'm a cop!"
Then yesterday one reporter describing flames in the distance while in the strip-mall parking lot where he is standing two big horses (who have been temporarily stabled there) munch on fancy shrubbery... and the reporter on the other end says, "Tell them to munch fast!"---A dark reference to the impossible amount of dry shrubbery fueling this crazy fire. It is a little light in the darkness.
Anyway I'm inspired by the way people in San Diego seem to be coming together, even though 513,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. Hopefully this will be over soon.
I've been listening to KPBS 89.5FM... At least I was listening to 89.5FM until this morning when I woke up and learned their transmitter was destroyed in the fire and they were off the air. Fortunately in some kind of amazing gesture of goodwill 94.9FM (usually a rock station) let KPBS take over their airwaves! Bravo! Bravo! I liked both stations before, but I like them even more now, though the commercial interruptions are making for some strange moments.
There have been some funny moments too... My favorites so far are Mayor Jerry Sanders while giving a speech listing all the corporate donors says, "...and my personal favorite, Krispy Kream... What can I say, I'm a cop!"
Then yesterday one reporter describing flames in the distance while in the strip-mall parking lot where he is standing two big horses (who have been temporarily stabled there) munch on fancy shrubbery... and the reporter on the other end says, "Tell them to munch fast!"---A dark reference to the impossible amount of dry shrubbery fueling this crazy fire. It is a little light in the darkness.
Anyway I'm inspired by the way people in San Diego seem to be coming together, even though 513,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. Hopefully this will be over soon.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Men in San Diego are Great
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the reasons I have to dislike men, but well, that seems rather negative. So I thought I’d try to spin my negatives into positives… It seems like men my age, are completely unwilling to commit for a variety of questionable reasons, but at least they aren’t jumping into marriages and serious relationships that they aren’t really into. That could save some woman (me) some serious heartache down the road. Wow, that first one was easier than I thought.
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Odyssey Years in San Diego
The Odyssey Years article by David Brooks.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Big Attitude in San Diego
My mom came to visit me this weekend, and we spent some time being decadent---she deserves it more than anyone I know---but with decadence comes attitude. So here's some typical San Diego attitude for you:
San Diego takes running seriously, and Road Runner in SD takes running shoes very seriously. So seriously that when I asked if there were other colors the guy asked me if I was walking the runway or running?! Um... I'm running. After watching me run in a pair of shoes I liked Mr. Salesman concluded he couldn't sell me running shoes that simply weren't stable enough for me. So I sucked up my hatred for white tennis shoes and I bought the ugliest pair of super fabulous white running shoes, and now at least my knees won't hurt. Smart is stylish. Big attitude in this instance is helpful.
I went to UC Benetton in La Jolla. No one hesitated for a second to tell me what I looked horrible in. When I inquired about whitish scuffy marks on my soon to be new waxed denim pants the fabulous salesman said, "Get use to it, they are waxed!" Okay. Damn. You tell me. This store has a reputation for attitude, but somehow it works for me...if it looks ugly just tell me. Besides their clothes fit my gangly body like no other.
The positive attitude award goes to Soltan Banoo a local eclectic Persian restaurant in University Heights. I love this place. I go all the time. I've been going there for years, and I can't say enough good things. The staff are friendly and helpful, esp. Noah, and the food it great. It's the kind of place I can't imagine living without and it is one place in San Diego that makes me feel at home. If you like hummus, this is the spot.
Finally, the amazing Spa Velia. It is decadence. I've had a lot of massages, but none as fabulous as my massage from Buck at Spa Velia. This guy knows what he's doing. Buck---if that is your name---I'm in love with you...probably along with every other client you have. It's a good thing you are working under a assumed name because people would be knocking your door down if they knew how to find you. All I have to say is use your power for GOOD, NOT EVIL and with those skills (at creating a deep and profound sense of peaceful well-being) you can have a big'ole attitude, but I bet you don't.
San Diego takes running seriously, and Road Runner in SD takes running shoes very seriously. So seriously that when I asked if there were other colors the guy asked me if I was walking the runway or running?! Um... I'm running. After watching me run in a pair of shoes I liked Mr. Salesman concluded he couldn't sell me running shoes that simply weren't stable enough for me. So I sucked up my hatred for white tennis shoes and I bought the ugliest pair of super fabulous white running shoes, and now at least my knees won't hurt. Smart is stylish. Big attitude in this instance is helpful.
I went to UC Benetton in La Jolla. No one hesitated for a second to tell me what I looked horrible in. When I inquired about whitish scuffy marks on my soon to be new waxed denim pants the fabulous salesman said, "Get use to it, they are waxed!" Okay. Damn. You tell me. This store has a reputation for attitude, but somehow it works for me...if it looks ugly just tell me. Besides their clothes fit my gangly body like no other.
The positive attitude award goes to Soltan Banoo a local eclectic Persian restaurant in University Heights. I love this place. I go all the time. I've been going there for years, and I can't say enough good things. The staff are friendly and helpful, esp. Noah, and the food it great. It's the kind of place I can't imagine living without and it is one place in San Diego that makes me feel at home. If you like hummus, this is the spot.
Finally, the amazing Spa Velia. It is decadence. I've had a lot of massages, but none as fabulous as my massage from Buck at Spa Velia. This guy knows what he's doing. Buck---if that is your name---I'm in love with you...probably along with every other client you have. It's a good thing you are working under a assumed name because people would be knocking your door down if they knew how to find you. All I have to say is use your power for GOOD, NOT EVIL and with those skills (at creating a deep and profound sense of peaceful well-being) you can have a big'ole attitude, but I bet you don't.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The Smart Overpower the Strong...
Sunday, September 30, 2007
"Weak Brain, Narrow Mind"
I'm tired of aspiring bourgeoisie. I'm tired of future white collar criminals of America. I'm tired of conventional disguised as underground. It's amazing to me how many seemingly smart people I meet who have such narrow minds, or are just completely apathetic. I want to congratulate them for their success at being such wonderful assholes. It's quite an achievement.
So, I'm an honest Midwestern girl. If people ask how I feel I'll tell them, but in California I think I might be better off putting on airs... Or maybe I've just been encountering a wave of pretentiousness lately. But come on! Seriously at least I'm honest about my neuroses and acknowledge it. My shadow is on the surface, what's scary is the shadow that's buried deep in someones heart---if they have one. That's some unpredictable shit.
Man, you know, I'm not trying to be so bitter. I'm actually pretty happy these days. I'm feeling San Diego. Someone said to me the other day, "So, you're still here." Yes. I'm still here, and you know what? I like it. I've realized I'm flexible, and I think this place is interesting. I think it's an especially interesting place for an artist... because there is just so much material... Lots of good dumpster-diving---as Freegan Kitchen proved... Lots of good and dark shadow material to work with.
So, I'm an honest Midwestern girl. If people ask how I feel I'll tell them, but in California I think I might be better off putting on airs... Or maybe I've just been encountering a wave of pretentiousness lately. But come on! Seriously at least I'm honest about my neuroses and acknowledge it. My shadow is on the surface, what's scary is the shadow that's buried deep in someones heart---if they have one. That's some unpredictable shit.
Man, you know, I'm not trying to be so bitter. I'm actually pretty happy these days. I'm feeling San Diego. Someone said to me the other day, "So, you're still here." Yes. I'm still here, and you know what? I like it. I've realized I'm flexible, and I think this place is interesting. I think it's an especially interesting place for an artist... because there is just so much material... Lots of good dumpster-diving---as Freegan Kitchen proved... Lots of good and dark shadow material to work with.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Racism? and General Discontent
1)
This Fall 2007 there are going to be 27,000 students enrolled at UCSD. I'm guessing 1% of them or less are African American. That's 'interesting' when you consider that African Americans make up about 8% of the population of San Diego. Aaaaa.... I guess we're not reflecting the community, yet (2007).
2)
No one, including criminals, should be treated like 'slaves'. Also, people who are in jail, are not 'just crazy'. Some of them are ill, and some of them are desperate. Desperation leads people to do desperate things, and 'desperation' has a lot of causes. Desperation, and some illness, can be prevented and remedied, but as someone once told me 'prevention is not sexy' and no one cares about remedies.
By the way, thanks is owed to a new friend for teaching me about the 13th amendment. It says: Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, ***except as a punishment for crime*** whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. Well, shucks, why are we worried about torturing Gitmo prisoners when all along we've been allowed to treat them like slaves and indentured servants? --- Oh, I guess Gitmo prisoners have not been duly convicted by our fair and completely unbiased justice system, yet. Right.
3)
I reserve the right to talk about racism even though I'm lily white and female. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.
4)
I consider myself an indentured servant to the banks and collection companies that hold my student loans. Oh, I know I should be grateful for for the fact that they allowed me to go to school. Thanks banks. Can you lower my interest rate now?
This Fall 2007 there are going to be 27,000 students enrolled at UCSD. I'm guessing 1% of them or less are African American. That's 'interesting' when you consider that African Americans make up about 8% of the population of San Diego. Aaaaa.... I guess we're not reflecting the community, yet (2007).
2)
No one, including criminals, should be treated like 'slaves'. Also, people who are in jail, are not 'just crazy'. Some of them are ill, and some of them are desperate. Desperation leads people to do desperate things, and 'desperation' has a lot of causes. Desperation, and some illness, can be prevented and remedied, but as someone once told me 'prevention is not sexy' and no one cares about remedies.
By the way, thanks is owed to a new friend for teaching me about the 13th amendment. It says: Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, ***except as a punishment for crime*** whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. Well, shucks, why are we worried about torturing Gitmo prisoners when all along we've been allowed to treat them like slaves and indentured servants? --- Oh, I guess Gitmo prisoners have not been duly convicted by our fair and completely unbiased justice system, yet. Right.
3)
I reserve the right to talk about racism even though I'm lily white and female. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.
4)
I consider myself an indentured servant to the banks and collection companies that hold my student loans. Oh, I know I should be grateful for for the fact that they allowed me to go to school. Thanks banks. Can you lower my interest rate now?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Art Engages the World
Here are some thoughts of mine based on a conversation last night...
I once asked an 'art star' I was studying under the question: If you make art, but never show it to anyone, are you still an artist? I thought her answer would be 'Yes' but her answer was 'No', to which I was very surprised.
To me, being an artist, has to do with making work and having an artistic practice, not showing that work. Her answer had some serious implications. I prodded her for more of an explanation, and I think she said something along the lines of 'things that are made but not shown to anyone are craft.' This conversation happened years ago, but it disturbs me to this day.
My belief is that being an artist is intrinsically tied into making work, not where or to how many people you are showing it to. Showing art happens after the fact. To the 'Art Market folks' this is probably naive thinking. If you buy into the Art Market, then you buy into the necessity of Market rules: fast production, customers satisfaction, visibility and marketing. Showing the work is why the work exist at all. Let's be honest. That is what it is. (At least part of it... It's complicated.)
Art does need to engage the world though, and there are different ways that engagement happens. Maybe a painting gets shown in a gallery on 5th Avenue and engages the world in that way... an Art Market way.
Or perhaps the painter when making the painting engages the world in an entirely different way, a way that is so subtle it almost isn't visible. Perhaps the painter (or photographer, or filmmaker, or whatever) goes into the world and looks at it, and thinks about it, and from that engagement, alters the way that she/he lives their life, alters the way they consume, and makes work that reflects their vision and alteration.
This type of direct artistic engagement seems the essential part of what makes someone an artist or not. And for me this type of engagement holds more value than commercial success, because whatever artwork results from this process inevitably reflects the world, and that is what makes the work relevant. After that, chance and circumstance (the whims and concerns of people at any given moment) dictate if the art becomes representative of something greater, or becomes a commercial success.
There is way more to say... but that's enough for me.
I once asked an 'art star' I was studying under the question: If you make art, but never show it to anyone, are you still an artist? I thought her answer would be 'Yes' but her answer was 'No', to which I was very surprised.
To me, being an artist, has to do with making work and having an artistic practice, not showing that work. Her answer had some serious implications. I prodded her for more of an explanation, and I think she said something along the lines of 'things that are made but not shown to anyone are craft.' This conversation happened years ago, but it disturbs me to this day.
My belief is that being an artist is intrinsically tied into making work, not where or to how many people you are showing it to. Showing art happens after the fact. To the 'Art Market folks' this is probably naive thinking. If you buy into the Art Market, then you buy into the necessity of Market rules: fast production, customers satisfaction, visibility and marketing. Showing the work is why the work exist at all. Let's be honest. That is what it is. (At least part of it... It's complicated.)
Art does need to engage the world though, and there are different ways that engagement happens. Maybe a painting gets shown in a gallery on 5th Avenue and engages the world in that way... an Art Market way.
Or perhaps the painter when making the painting engages the world in an entirely different way, a way that is so subtle it almost isn't visible. Perhaps the painter (or photographer, or filmmaker, or whatever) goes into the world and looks at it, and thinks about it, and from that engagement, alters the way that she/he lives their life, alters the way they consume, and makes work that reflects their vision and alteration.
This type of direct artistic engagement seems the essential part of what makes someone an artist or not. And for me this type of engagement holds more value than commercial success, because whatever artwork results from this process inevitably reflects the world, and that is what makes the work relevant. After that, chance and circumstance (the whims and concerns of people at any given moment) dictate if the art becomes representative of something greater, or becomes a commercial success.
There is way more to say... but that's enough for me.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Loneliness is Such A Drag. Rain
Thanks Jimi, truer words were never spoken. There is something so alienating about the endless sunny weather of San Diego, especially when you don't have someone to appreciate it with you. And if you have a relationship, even if the relationship is bad somehow grilling at the pool after a dip or lounging at the beach, alleviates the pain of it. The downside is that you end up stuck in bad relationships much longer than you should be, because well, the sunny day is calling! It's too much damn work to fight when you can sun yourself! Oh, woe is me! I can't sun myself.
But I'm happy now, because rain is in the forecast. Oh the lovely rain, expressing all our tender souls' sorrows so well in a few drops. Please, oh please, let it rain I say.
All these tall slender palm trees need a bath, and I need a break from the perfection. I need to feel a little miserable right now, a little lonely. It's healthy to feel the pangs of your heart... to be reminded it is there, if nothing else.
San Diegians need rain very badly.
But I'm happy now, because rain is in the forecast. Oh the lovely rain, expressing all our tender souls' sorrows so well in a few drops. Please, oh please, let it rain I say.
All these tall slender palm trees need a bath, and I need a break from the perfection. I need to feel a little miserable right now, a little lonely. It's healthy to feel the pangs of your heart... to be reminded it is there, if nothing else.
San Diegians need rain very badly.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Is San Diego Home?
I had an amazing conversation with a girlfriend of mine tonight. I've been filming her for the documentary that I've been working on about home. She was speaking to me (and my camera) and I was thinking that she was taking the words right out of my mouth.
We have both recently come to the conclusion that we might in fact be in living in San Diego for a long time to come, and we've been wondering about the repercussions of that fact. She just got her PhD in Molecular Biology, but instead of accepting a post-doc at a prestigious east coast school she decided that she would be happier if she went a different direction with her life. Kudos to those folks whom are that self-aware, esp. after spending 6 years working on a PhD! I don’t think she knew which direction was best, but she did know it was a different direction than the one she was headed in. So, lucky for me, she’s around to contemplate my queries about where and what home is. The elusive beast!
San Diego might, in fact, be home for us. Gulp! I’ve been here almost 7 years, and she’s been here almost 9! When do we get to, or have to take ownership, of this jalopy? A few things that make it hard to imagine San Diego as home: 1) The costs of housing. 2) The fact that there are hardly seasons. 3) The apparent lack of eligible and interesting men. (If you are out there, we can’t find you.)
If we could afford houses, and have money left over to decorate them (yes, cute), if we were reminded of the sweet and serene places of our childhood where Fall and Spring ushered in snowmen and running through the sprinkler, if we could find soulful men who weren’t intimidate by a couple of smart women, yes we’d feel more at home! I’m not convinced it’s impossible. But my dear friend and I agree we can’t wait around forever, or at all for that matter. We really have to make homes for ourselves out of what we’ve got now. However that works.
Part of having a home, is having a family, or at least is having people who entirely accept you for who you are… Don’t judge you for the little insignificant things. That’s why finding a companion matters. But San Diego is hard, with all these literal and figurative freeways separating us. So many people coming and going, but I’m resolute: It will happen. Home is possible everywhere, even in San Diego.
We have both recently come to the conclusion that we might in fact be in living in San Diego for a long time to come, and we've been wondering about the repercussions of that fact. She just got her PhD in Molecular Biology, but instead of accepting a post-doc at a prestigious east coast school she decided that she would be happier if she went a different direction with her life. Kudos to those folks whom are that self-aware, esp. after spending 6 years working on a PhD! I don’t think she knew which direction was best, but she did know it was a different direction than the one she was headed in. So, lucky for me, she’s around to contemplate my queries about where and what home is. The elusive beast!
San Diego might, in fact, be home for us. Gulp! I’ve been here almost 7 years, and she’s been here almost 9! When do we get to, or have to take ownership, of this jalopy? A few things that make it hard to imagine San Diego as home: 1) The costs of housing. 2) The fact that there are hardly seasons. 3) The apparent lack of eligible and interesting men. (If you are out there, we can’t find you.)
If we could afford houses, and have money left over to decorate them (yes, cute), if we were reminded of the sweet and serene places of our childhood where Fall and Spring ushered in snowmen and running through the sprinkler, if we could find soulful men who weren’t intimidate by a couple of smart women, yes we’d feel more at home! I’m not convinced it’s impossible. But my dear friend and I agree we can’t wait around forever, or at all for that matter. We really have to make homes for ourselves out of what we’ve got now. However that works.
Part of having a home, is having a family, or at least is having people who entirely accept you for who you are… Don’t judge you for the little insignificant things. That’s why finding a companion matters. But San Diego is hard, with all these literal and figurative freeways separating us. So many people coming and going, but I’m resolute: It will happen. Home is possible everywhere, even in San Diego.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Occupations of Everyone I've Ever Dated
People that read blogs like lists. So here we go.
This is a list of occupations of everyone I've ever dated even if we only went out a few times. It's hard to meet people anyway, and I'm running out of occupations. Geesh! The astericks indicate best and the worst.
1) drummer/bartender
2a) guitarist/marriage councilor*
2b) bassist/waiter
3) sculptor
4) chef
5) politician/poet
6) mechanical engineer/inventor*
7) animator/teacher
8) construction worker/eccentric
9) philosopher/professional athlete/porsche mechanic*
10) philosopher/filmmaker/writer*
11) actor
12) sociologist
13) biologist
14) graphic designer
15) photographer
16) painter/IT consultant
This is a list of occupations of everyone I've ever dated even if we only went out a few times. It's hard to meet people anyway, and I'm running out of occupations. Geesh! The astericks indicate best and the worst.
1) drummer/bartender
2a) guitarist/marriage councilor*
2b) bassist/waiter
3) sculptor
4) chef
5) politician/poet
6) mechanical engineer/inventor*
7) animator/teacher
8) construction worker/eccentric
9) philosopher/professional athlete/porsche mechanic*
10) philosopher/filmmaker/writer*
11) actor
12) sociologist
13) biologist
14) graphic designer
15) photographer
16) painter/IT consultant
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Coffee and Creatives
I've been enjoying evening coffee with a new friend of mine at a local coffee shop named Cream located on Park Ave. in North Park. Cream is owned by a nice guy who also happens to be a UCSD Visual Arts graduate student. Located around the corner from Cream (in the same building) is a little fashion boutique called Neighborhood, which the owner of Cream also co-owns and runs when he is not busy working on his MFA. Both places are worth a visit. On any given night you can see a plethora of creatives doing their thing. People tote in their laptops and set up shop... graphic designers to sound artists. I've also met local poets and intellectuals milling about the place contemplating life these days, and I can't not mention all the teachers writing lessen plans. This is a place that makes me feel a little more at home in San Diego. It also actually reminds me of the Broadway Cafe and Roastery in the East Village of Westport in Kansas City Missouri, my old haunt.
Nice places to read books.
Check it out:
Neighbourhood Boutique
Nice places to read books.
Check it out:
Neighbourhood Boutique
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Commitment in San Diego
I went to Citizen Video last night to drop off some movies, and ended up going to the Whistle Stop with the owner of Citizen Video (the most charming lady ever). We met up with some new friends and ran into some old friends, and danced the night away to One Nation (Djs Blackstone and Atari). Whistle Stop is a happening little place in the South Park/Golden Hill part of town.
At any rate I ran into a friend and we had a long conversation about San Diego. We discussed common San Diego themes: transience, impermanence, disenfranchisement, and commitment. There is a whole contingent of people who live in San Diego, and have lived here for years that can't commit to the place. No matter how long they live here, 25 years even, and they still don’t think of it as home. They just resign themselves to it. Being a Midwesterner, the fact that there are barely seasons makes it hard for me. It’s the whole issue of feeling disenfranchised from the place. For a lot of new residents of San Diego the perpetual good weather just makes life and time slip by so easily. Ten years go by, and people never have to deal with the city. You deal with a city when, for instance, there’s a huge ice storm or snowstorm that turn routine activities on their head. That is when you are forced to deal with a place. Forced to come to terms with where you are. I suspect that for a lot of people who live here, they just exist in a kind of figurative homelessness. That can't feel very good. Or I should say, it doesn't. I vacillate between feeling at home here and feeling foreign.
People come and go from this town pretty quickly too, but the fact of the matter is, there are people here who call this place home. There are a lot of people who grew-up here, and went to high school here. That’s important. Those of us who are unable to deal with San Diego should take lessons from the long time residents. It might bring some much needed peace-of-mind. Maybe if we all started surfing the San Diego angst would fade.
Check it out:
Citizen Video
Whistle Stop Bar
At any rate I ran into a friend and we had a long conversation about San Diego. We discussed common San Diego themes: transience, impermanence, disenfranchisement, and commitment. There is a whole contingent of people who live in San Diego, and have lived here for years that can't commit to the place. No matter how long they live here, 25 years even, and they still don’t think of it as home. They just resign themselves to it. Being a Midwesterner, the fact that there are barely seasons makes it hard for me. It’s the whole issue of feeling disenfranchised from the place. For a lot of new residents of San Diego the perpetual good weather just makes life and time slip by so easily. Ten years go by, and people never have to deal with the city. You deal with a city when, for instance, there’s a huge ice storm or snowstorm that turn routine activities on their head. That is when you are forced to deal with a place. Forced to come to terms with where you are. I suspect that for a lot of people who live here, they just exist in a kind of figurative homelessness. That can't feel very good. Or I should say, it doesn't. I vacillate between feeling at home here and feeling foreign.
People come and go from this town pretty quickly too, but the fact of the matter is, there are people here who call this place home. There are a lot of people who grew-up here, and went to high school here. That’s important. Those of us who are unable to deal with San Diego should take lessons from the long time residents. It might bring some much needed peace-of-mind. Maybe if we all started surfing the San Diego angst would fade.
Check it out:
Citizen Video
Whistle Stop Bar
Saturday, September 8, 2007
A Life in the Day of San Diego
Who am I? I am someone who inexplicably found herself moving to San Diego in 2001. I think I got here on August 2, 2001. I was at the beginning of serving my time in graduate school for an MFA at UCSD in the Visual Arts. No sooner did I get comfy here, and get to know some of my colleagues, then 9/11 happened, and everything was different. 9/11 forced us to rethink the purpose and meaning of art production, because after 9/11 what good was art? It was so small, so powerless, so insignificant, and so shallow, and so were we. At least that is how it seemed then. Perhaps that is because that is how so many people felt with 9/11 forcing so much perspective down our throats. Now, of course, the shame I felt for being an art maker, and not a doctor, firefighter, or whatever, has faded, and I again see the value in art, sometimes. At any rate, 9/11 was my introduction to San Diego. I was recently talking to one of my classmates and he mentioned he actually moved here on Sept 11! Ouch.
I survived three years of graduate school and existential crisis, and graduated in 2004. And even though I’m regularly told I can’t be an artist in San Diego, I have to be in LA or New York, I’m still here, being an artist my way. Cities need artists. San Diego needs artists. I don't feel like abandoning this place, because I think there is energy here. It just needs to be harnessed. I'm working on that part.
I realized today that maybe I should have called this blog "A life in the Day of San Diego". That might actually be a more accurate description on what this blog is going to become.
I survived three years of graduate school and existential crisis, and graduated in 2004. And even though I’m regularly told I can’t be an artist in San Diego, I have to be in LA or New York, I’m still here, being an artist my way. Cities need artists. San Diego needs artists. I don't feel like abandoning this place, because I think there is energy here. It just needs to be harnessed. I'm working on that part.
I realized today that maybe I should have called this blog "A life in the Day of San Diego". That might actually be a more accurate description on what this blog is going to become.
Friday, September 7, 2007
The First of Many
San Diego needs voices, and I'm just one of many possible, but I think I have a perspective worth sharing. I'm not from here, but who is? I grew up in Nebraska and came out here for graduate school. I've now lived here almost seven years, though I did a brief stint in LA, but got drawn back (like many). The more time I spend in San Diego the more she opens up to me. Let's face it, this can be an alienating town. A lot of people who move here experience a kind of culture shock they were never expecting, because this place is like no other. For one thing, it sits on one of the largest border crossings in the world, it lives in the shadow of Los Angeles and Hollywood, it's rubbing elbows with some of the richest communities in the country, and sharing art-culture-cuisine and language with it's Southern neighbors (Mexico and beyond). It also takes lessons from immigrants from all over the world, including a huge population of Somali and Ethiopian peoples. San Diego is fusion. That's its blessing and its curse, because all those voices echoing about the endless sunny freeways make people feel a bit disenfranchised. That's my opinion anyway, and that is what this blog is, just my opinion. If you have a different opinion, you should share, because like I said before San Diego needs voices.
This blog is going to be about what I think makes this city great, hard, unwelcoming, and beautiful. It's going to be about art in San Diego, film in San Diego, and culture in San Diego. I'm going to write about all the things I love: inde film, local art, local music, great stores, restaurants, venues, people, poetry. Let's get to it already.
This blog is going to be about what I think makes this city great, hard, unwelcoming, and beautiful. It's going to be about art in San Diego, film in San Diego, and culture in San Diego. I'm going to write about all the things I love: inde film, local art, local music, great stores, restaurants, venues, people, poetry. Let's get to it already.
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