Cathy De La Cruz convinced me to do a best and worst of 2007 blog, so here goes, my personal best and worst.
The Best of 2007:
Best people:
For one long phone call in October where he listened to me cry for about three hours, and for being constant comic relief, the award goes to Michael Trigilio. Thanks Michael! The Complaint Project really prepared you well for consoling sobbing friends.
For listening to me while I figure out what the hell I'm doing, the award goes to my fellow Sagittarius Cathy De La Cruz. Thanks Cathy. We'll make it through this together.
For being generally REALLY cool, and for telling me the truth: Ramlah, Anita, Nick, Jim, Adriene, Adrian, Marie, Kevin, Brian and Kelly, Randall, Felipe, Deanna, and Steven. Thanks guys my year would have sucked without you! (And Zach and Donna.)
Cinema Lounge, folks deserve awards for making it a reality: Thanks Holly and Lynn.
Best Band of 2007: The Red Feathers, not only do they sound good, they are really nice guys. Nice, goes a long way in my book.
The Best and Worst of 2007:
This special Best&Worst award goes to the month of July! July was full of surprises! July shares this award with the Whistle Stop and my friend Whiskey which contributed significantly to achievements of July.
The Worst of 2007:
The Party Crashers! Machismo! Illness! And Jerks! Congratulations, you do what you do very well. May the forces of good always defeat your sorry assess.
San Diego was good to me in 2007. Thanks San Diego!
Showing posts with label men and women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men and women. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Men in San Diego are Great
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the reasons I have to dislike men, but well, that seems rather negative. So I thought I’d try to spin my negatives into positives… It seems like men my age, are completely unwilling to commit for a variety of questionable reasons, but at least they aren’t jumping into marriages and serious relationships that they aren’t really into. That could save some woman (me) some serious heartache down the road. Wow, that first one was easier than I thought.
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Odyssey Years in San Diego
The Odyssey Years article by David Brooks.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
