"When the hills of Los Angeles are burning/ Palm trees are candles in the murder winds/ So many lives are on the breeze/ Even the stars are ill at ease/ And Los Angeles is burning."-Bad Religion
"...California, where the sun is warm, where the winds called Santa Ana make you feel like you belong..." -Debbie Boone
After a week of captivity from the raging fires I was happy to return to work. It was interesting to talk to my friends and colleagues about their fire experiences. Many people expressed to me how they had developed a general sense of unease, loneliness, guilt, and claustrophobia. Indeed we were all thrown for a loop and out of our element with this fire, and with these winds. Although I was never personally in any danger from the fires I think I am still psychically recovering from the crisis perpetuated by the unrelenting wind know as the Santa Ana.
Not being from California the Santa Ana winds are rather new to me, but they have a long mythologized history. I found the quotes above on Wikipedia. I thought it was interesting that the Santa Ana winds were described as both "murder winds" and winds that "make you feel like you belong." After experiencing this fire crisis I can say that the winds that fueled the fires also revealed some beautiful and unmentioned San Diego secrets, for instance, that there is community deeply rooted in this place, and it is made of all colors, nationalities, and all socio-economic backgrounds; and people in this community care for each other. In this sense the warm winds have made me feel like I belong---have rooted me more completely to this place---however the method is mad. The winds and fires have caused so much destruction and made us all feel so sad.
Let us hope for a quick recovery.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
San Diego is Burning
I'm so sorry for everyone in San Diego that has lost their home.
I've been listening to KPBS 89.5FM... At least I was listening to 89.5FM until this morning when I woke up and learned their transmitter was destroyed in the fire and they were off the air. Fortunately in some kind of amazing gesture of goodwill 94.9FM (usually a rock station) let KPBS take over their airwaves! Bravo! Bravo! I liked both stations before, but I like them even more now, though the commercial interruptions are making for some strange moments.
There have been some funny moments too... My favorites so far are Mayor Jerry Sanders while giving a speech listing all the corporate donors says, "...and my personal favorite, Krispy Kream... What can I say, I'm a cop!"
Then yesterday one reporter describing flames in the distance while in the strip-mall parking lot where he is standing two big horses (who have been temporarily stabled there) munch on fancy shrubbery... and the reporter on the other end says, "Tell them to munch fast!"---A dark reference to the impossible amount of dry shrubbery fueling this crazy fire. It is a little light in the darkness.
Anyway I'm inspired by the way people in San Diego seem to be coming together, even though 513,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. Hopefully this will be over soon.
I've been listening to KPBS 89.5FM... At least I was listening to 89.5FM until this morning when I woke up and learned their transmitter was destroyed in the fire and they were off the air. Fortunately in some kind of amazing gesture of goodwill 94.9FM (usually a rock station) let KPBS take over their airwaves! Bravo! Bravo! I liked both stations before, but I like them even more now, though the commercial interruptions are making for some strange moments.
There have been some funny moments too... My favorites so far are Mayor Jerry Sanders while giving a speech listing all the corporate donors says, "...and my personal favorite, Krispy Kream... What can I say, I'm a cop!"
Then yesterday one reporter describing flames in the distance while in the strip-mall parking lot where he is standing two big horses (who have been temporarily stabled there) munch on fancy shrubbery... and the reporter on the other end says, "Tell them to munch fast!"---A dark reference to the impossible amount of dry shrubbery fueling this crazy fire. It is a little light in the darkness.
Anyway I'm inspired by the way people in San Diego seem to be coming together, even though 513,000 people have been evacuated from their homes. Hopefully this will be over soon.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Men in San Diego are Great
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the reasons I have to dislike men, but well, that seems rather negative. So I thought I’d try to spin my negatives into positives… It seems like men my age, are completely unwilling to commit for a variety of questionable reasons, but at least they aren’t jumping into marriages and serious relationships that they aren’t really into. That could save some woman (me) some serious heartache down the road. Wow, that first one was easier than I thought.
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
The Brooks article says it’s harder for well-educated women to find men who are equal to them… but education is less important to me than other things. It seems obvious but a man’s (or woman’s) worth is not determined by his level of education. I can really appreciate a person who works hard and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty. There is nothing more unattractive to me than a whiny lazy dude, PhD or not.
And going back to the first positive, men are afraid of getting married and of having children… That’s fine, because I’m afraid of getting married and having children too. Most people get divorced. The world is over populated. Maybe men are afraid for a good reason. Maybe their fear suggests that they actually have some reverence for the institution of marriage and fatherhood. Is there more? Uncommitted men of my generation might have the right idea about holding-out on the whole marriage/family thing, unfortunately it’s a bit more pressing for women, or at least me.
Here is what I’m afraid of: I’m afraid of having babies after forty (I have 12 years). I’m not sure that is a completely rational fear, because I know women over forty who have had healthy babies, but unfortunately I also know the risk of having babies with developmental disabilities increases after forty. So, there’s always adoption, but that is scary too. It’s amazing to me that I have these concerns, because rationally I don’t even want children, but biologically I think my body is just sending alert signals. I can’t escape my biology with my rationality---apparently.
All this fear and how to overcome it is the real question. I think both men and women of my generation are afraid of divorce, afraid of being bad parents, afraid of being in unhappy marriages, afraid of wasting time with the wrong person, afraid of meeting potential partners, afraid of not meeting them… Then there are the more existential fear questions, like why bring children into such a f’d-up world anyway??? How can you be committed to one person forever when people change and there is no guarantee of changing in compatible ways? Oh, what would the Dalai Lama do?
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Odyssey Years in San Diego
The Odyssey Years article by David Brooks.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
This article articulates so many things about being a 20-something. I remember what a relief it was when I realized that all my anxiety about my career, love life, and future was also an anxiety that my peers were sharing. It was a revelation when I had breakfast with my neighbor for the first time and we discovered that we not only shared a wall, but that we also shared the same fears and worries about the future, and neither of us had in any way been prepared for the challenges of life post college. From the article "Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."
Life has stabilized a bit now as I approach the 30-something years, but I have to wonder what unforetold dangers lie ahead. I suspect that the real danger area is relationships especially if Brooks is correct that, "Educated women can get many of the things they want (income, status, identity) without marriage, while they find it harder (or, if they're working-class, next to impossible) to find a suitably accomplished mate." That is scary medicine especially when you factor in a healthy dose skepticism about the whole validity of the institution of marriage. It just means that women have to figure out---now more than ever---how to achieve happiness and fulfillment without men. Maybe this is an indication of the future for women of my generation. Perhaps it means that a lot more women will have time to get involved in their communities and shape meaningful policies for the betterment of all people. That is the bright side of things.
As far as San Diego is concerned it seems the Odyssey issues are only amplified by the unaffordable cost of housing, and the segregated culture and landscape that makes it next to impossible to meet and maintain connections with people.
Well, I'm working on it.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Big Attitude in San Diego
My mom came to visit me this weekend, and we spent some time being decadent---she deserves it more than anyone I know---but with decadence comes attitude. So here's some typical San Diego attitude for you:
San Diego takes running seriously, and Road Runner in SD takes running shoes very seriously. So seriously that when I asked if there were other colors the guy asked me if I was walking the runway or running?! Um... I'm running. After watching me run in a pair of shoes I liked Mr. Salesman concluded he couldn't sell me running shoes that simply weren't stable enough for me. So I sucked up my hatred for white tennis shoes and I bought the ugliest pair of super fabulous white running shoes, and now at least my knees won't hurt. Smart is stylish. Big attitude in this instance is helpful.
I went to UC Benetton in La Jolla. No one hesitated for a second to tell me what I looked horrible in. When I inquired about whitish scuffy marks on my soon to be new waxed denim pants the fabulous salesman said, "Get use to it, they are waxed!" Okay. Damn. You tell me. This store has a reputation for attitude, but somehow it works for me...if it looks ugly just tell me. Besides their clothes fit my gangly body like no other.
The positive attitude award goes to Soltan Banoo a local eclectic Persian restaurant in University Heights. I love this place. I go all the time. I've been going there for years, and I can't say enough good things. The staff are friendly and helpful, esp. Noah, and the food it great. It's the kind of place I can't imagine living without and it is one place in San Diego that makes me feel at home. If you like hummus, this is the spot.
Finally, the amazing Spa Velia. It is decadence. I've had a lot of massages, but none as fabulous as my massage from Buck at Spa Velia. This guy knows what he's doing. Buck---if that is your name---I'm in love with you...probably along with every other client you have. It's a good thing you are working under a assumed name because people would be knocking your door down if they knew how to find you. All I have to say is use your power for GOOD, NOT EVIL and with those skills (at creating a deep and profound sense of peaceful well-being) you can have a big'ole attitude, but I bet you don't.
San Diego takes running seriously, and Road Runner in SD takes running shoes very seriously. So seriously that when I asked if there were other colors the guy asked me if I was walking the runway or running?! Um... I'm running. After watching me run in a pair of shoes I liked Mr. Salesman concluded he couldn't sell me running shoes that simply weren't stable enough for me. So I sucked up my hatred for white tennis shoes and I bought the ugliest pair of super fabulous white running shoes, and now at least my knees won't hurt. Smart is stylish. Big attitude in this instance is helpful.
I went to UC Benetton in La Jolla. No one hesitated for a second to tell me what I looked horrible in. When I inquired about whitish scuffy marks on my soon to be new waxed denim pants the fabulous salesman said, "Get use to it, they are waxed!" Okay. Damn. You tell me. This store has a reputation for attitude, but somehow it works for me...if it looks ugly just tell me. Besides their clothes fit my gangly body like no other.
The positive attitude award goes to Soltan Banoo a local eclectic Persian restaurant in University Heights. I love this place. I go all the time. I've been going there for years, and I can't say enough good things. The staff are friendly and helpful, esp. Noah, and the food it great. It's the kind of place I can't imagine living without and it is one place in San Diego that makes me feel at home. If you like hummus, this is the spot.
Finally, the amazing Spa Velia. It is decadence. I've had a lot of massages, but none as fabulous as my massage from Buck at Spa Velia. This guy knows what he's doing. Buck---if that is your name---I'm in love with you...probably along with every other client you have. It's a good thing you are working under a assumed name because people would be knocking your door down if they knew how to find you. All I have to say is use your power for GOOD, NOT EVIL and with those skills (at creating a deep and profound sense of peaceful well-being) you can have a big'ole attitude, but I bet you don't.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The Smart Overpower the Strong...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
